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Nothing to You. 




"Searching a lady's band-boxes 



Nothing to You; 



OR, 



Mind Your Own Business, 



IN ANSWER TO 



"Nothings" in general, 
and 
Nothing to Wear" in particular. 



yBV Knot-Rab. 



KEW TOEK : 
WILEY & HALSTED, 

No. 851 BEOADWAT. 
185 7. 



^\ 



t>^^^ 



43 r^ ^ 
'd t^ 

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1867, by 

WILEY «fc HALSTED, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the 
Southern District of New York. 



R. CKAIQHKAD, PBINTEE AND BTEBBOTTPER, 

CTaiton JSutftiing, 
81, 88, a/nd 85 Centre Street. 



NOTHING TO YOU; 



OR, 



MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 



It is said in the circles of Madison 

Square, 
That the recent attack on Miss 

Flora, 
For presuming to think she had "nothing 

to wear," 
While her wardrobe contained an Argosy 
From Paris, of all the recherche varieties, 



6 Nothing to You. 

Styles, patterns, and prices of the best 

societies, 
Has had such effect on the lady herself. 
That her friends apprehend some ca- 
lamity ; 
For, 'tis everywhere talked of, 'till scandal 
itself 
Has grown weary discoursing of vanity. 
It is fair we examine both sides of the 
picture. 
Not by raising new issues; — or making 
fresh slander ; 
But simply to find if the cause of the 
stricture 
On ladies is just, — and dictated by 
candor. 



Nothing to You. 7 

We shall make it apparent that Harry's 
to blame 
For indulging in gossip — unmanly; 

And in seeking to injure so charming 
a name 
Just because he was jilted. How 
blandly 

Soever he tries to make good his asser- 
tion, 

There's nothing can save him from ge- 
neral aversion. 

He plainly admits, and there's no one 
will doubt it. 
That Flora's fine dresses had something 
to do 



8 Nothing to You. 

With the strength of his love, or he 
wooed her without it; 
And I ask the kind world which is 
best of the two? 
He talks of commodities, 
Hearts and such oddities ! 
Brocades and affections all in the same 
breath ; 

And he mixes up laces. 
Pins, gloves, and embraces, 
With the gaslight above, and the 
carpet beneath. 

As cold and uncandid, 

As ever a man did 
Assail a young lady of beauty and 
fame. 



Nothing to You. 9 

He seeks to confound her, 
By throwing around her 
A coil of derision attached to her 
name. 

I appeal to the honest, the brave, and the 
loving, — 
Men with hearts and with heads, and 
with hands for great deeds. 
Whether searching a lady's bandboxes, 
and proving 
Her owner of dresses, far more than she 

needs. 
Is a fit occupation for one who lays claim to 
The rights, and the virtues, and wisdom 
of man. 



lo Nothing to You. 

We snub our fair friends, just as soon 

as they aim to 
Excel us in anything useful, and plan 
For them all kinds of little amusements 

and pastimes ; 
Then grumble, forsooth, at their want 

of a few dimes. 
We teach them, encourage, compel to be idle ; 
Then growl at their little diversions, 

and chide well 
Their fancies so pretty, so harmless and 

artless. 
And call them extravagant, reckless, and 

heartless. 
We talk of morality, — ^practise the 

vices, — 



Nothing to You. n 

Make rules for young ladies; but none 
for ourselves, — 
Except it be "House Rules" of 
clubs, with devices 
For spending our money, by sixes or 
twelves, — 
As it pleases us best: — or we just 
pass our leisure 
In a quiescent way, — with good fellows, 
you know ; 
Or we come and we go, as it jumps 
w^ith our pleasure, 
And permit none to ask us, "why do 
you do so*?" 
We spend both our time and our 
money as suits us, 



12 Nothing to You. 

In Wall Street and stocks, to yield fifty 
per cent. ; 
Or In houses, weeds, meerschaums, fast 
ladies, or horses ; 

In " larks," plays, or hunting, or travel 
in Lent. 
Should our friends take the trouble to 
kindly upbraid us. 

Volunteering their thoughts, and submit- 
ting advice. 

They are soon made to know, their at- 
tentions have laid us 

Under no obligation to hear them speak 
twice ; 

For, with exquisite polish, but yet in a 
trice, 



Nothing to You. 13 

We gently inform them, " I do as I do, 
" Beyond that I assure you it's — Nothing 



Now, this NOTHING TO YOU may appear 

at first sight 
A little uncourteous, or headstrong, or 

wild ; 
But I think that with me you'll agree 

it is right 
In some cases and persons — though not 

in a child. 
We are talking of men, and of ladies 

just now, 



14 Nothing to You. 

Who spend money — make love — form 

engagements, and so 
May be safely included with those who 

know how 
To arrange their own business, and say 

yes or no, 
Without having to answer to every 

Jim Crow, 
Or fine fellow who thinks that he ought 

to know. 



The first lesson we learn when turned 
out on the world. 
Wherever we go or whatever we do, 
Is the simple absurdity — hourly unfurled — 



Nothing to You. 15 

That people will meddle with that, 
which to you 
Seems not to concern them the least, 
and you say 
So at once, without waiting to ponder it. 
The truth is self-evident every day, 
And you wonder how people consent 
to live under it. 
In Madison square, or the Fifth avenue, 
Saratoga, Newport, or yet farther away, 
St. James's or Brighton, Versailles or St. 
Cloud, 
Masters Meddle are there, and there 
they will stay; 
For there's one for each tongue, to lead 
it astray 



1 6 Nothing to You. 

Into mazes of scandal, and gossip, and 
romance, 

Inventing, where plain honest truth can 
find no chance. 

Whatever is strange, or absurd, or ri- 
diculous, 

If it only contains point sufficient to tickle 
us. 

Is pronounced a good joke, and passed 
gaily around 

From one tongue to another, until it is found 

To vibrate the whole air, with its gos- 
siping sound. 

And who are the objects — I might say 
the victims 




Whalever is struii^'e, or absurd, or ridiculous, 
If it only contains point sufficient to tickle us 



Nothing to You. 17 

Of this cruel sport? Very often the 

young "Prims" 
Whose only offence in the matter before us, 
Is to couple economy closely with neatness. 
Or perchance 'tis those innocent Kid 

girls, — so artless, 
Not yet having learned the tricks of the 

heartless ; 
Who for nothing but that are heartily 

laughed at, 
By the very same man who plays " tattoo " 

on his hat. 
There is even Miss Prudence — minding 

her business; 
Dresses neat, — no display, — and without 

giddiness, 



1 8 Nothing to You. 

Talks evil of no one — thinks evil as 
little, 

And though pretty and Uvely — don't 
care a tittle 

For empty brained snobs, — be they ever 
so " demmy," 

For which reason alone she's abhorred by 
those " gemmy." 

They let none escape from their quizzi- 
cal scrutiny ; 
The young are but "chits," and the 
old are all "Fogies;" 

They strain every nerve to promote a 
wide mutiny, 
By admiring rich dresses, — with criti- 
cal eulogies. 



Nothing to You. ig 

They sneer at Miss Modest; they cut 
Miss Economy; 
Laugh at Miss Goodsense ; — praise 
Flora with care ; 
Make jest of Miss Knowsomething ; — 
then read a homily 
On ladies, who think they have "no- 
thing to wear." 



I have heard this same Harry in vein 

so satirical, 
Tell tales of young ladies with " only 

one dress ; " 
Because twice, on occasions of taste 

somewhat critical, 



20 Nothing to You. 

They wore the same costume, — as 1 
must confess. j 

Is it candid, or fair, or honest, or true, sir, 

To present as you've done but one side 
to our view, sir? 

If Flora was faulty you knew it before; 

For you say, " thirty " times you had 
knelt to adore — 

Not her, as it seems, but her diamonds 
and laces ; 

Yet, now you upbraid her for those 
very " graces" — 
As you used to term them, — encou- 
raged by you, 

Till it pleased your gay whim to like 
other faces. 



Nothing to You. 21 



Insult,— be insulted,— and play your 
" tattoo ! " 



Ambition is given to us all, — and 'tis 

well; 
For without it we never should care to 

excel ; 
And careless in this, there's an end to 

improvement ; 
We should, like the snail, still go back 

in our movement. 
Young ladies are just as ambitious to 

prosper 
In fashion, good taste, and esteem, quite 

as men are 



22 Nothing to You. 

In all that pertains to that high elevation, 
For which we are destined by " our 

education." 
We make them a play toy, and not a 

companion ; 
We dress, then admire them, and 

flatter and fawn, 
And mould their ambition to dress well, 

until one 
Begins to believe them a gossamer dawn ; 
Not oppressed with much intellect, souls, 

or live hearts ; 
But exquisite models, to whom dress 

imparts 
All the graces, — accomplishments, — sense 

we desire ; 



Nothing to You. 23 

This " contingent remainder " set Harry- 
on fire ; 

And not Harry alone, but that host of 
deplore rs, 

''Two hundred and fifty or sixty adorers," 

He tells us he threw in the shade, when 
selected 

By Flora, as worthy to be her elected. 

Now, what does this prove, but that 
Flora's good sense 

Read men as they are, — through their 
" flimsy " pretence 

Of magnificent wisdom, — and dressed her- 
self out 

For their fancy, 7iot hers; while there 
can be no doubt 



24- Nothing to You. 

Her ambition was flattered, by daily ovations 
Of worshipping men, bowing down to 

creations 
Which Flora designed, — with her milliner's 

patience. 
Let me ask you to show me a single example 
Of innocent goodness, — of charity ample, 
Of kindness unbounded, — but lacking 

external 
Of fashion and wealth, — have such a supernal 
Amount of proposals; — take Harry for 

sample ! 



Must we go into Boudoirs, or over 
to Paris, 



Nothing to You. 25 

Study brocades and silks, laces, satin, 
and tulle. 
In order the better to learn what 
man is ; 
Or say with sincerity, "Oh, what a 
fool ^ " 
Nay, come and I'll show you a 
wonderful picture, — 
A rne^ting of thousands now held in 
"The Park." 
One rises, — ^^looks round, — makes a mo- 
tion and gesture, — 
Seems wis^,— but says nothing,— at last, 

throws a spark 
Of his eloquence out:— "What a glori- 
ous day!" 



26 Nothing to You. 

Says the orator; — and all the people 

" hurrah I " 
He dresses a few scanty thoughts in 

fine words, 
And the world applauds him, — " fine 

feathers, fine birds." 
At our clubs, have you never seen 

" men of the world " 
Give a shrug of the shoulder, twist a 

hair nicely curled. 
Say, "Oh, Ah," "certainly," " 'pon your 

honor," "Oh, Lord," 
And so cover themselves with a move 

or a word; 
Imply intimate knowledge, approve or 

condemn 



Nothing to You. 27 

When referred to, — although knowing 

naught of the theme I 
In our courts, where but wisdom and 

justice should stand 
With a wreath for the good, — for the 

evil a brand. 
Is he not the best lawyer who best can 

deceive ? 
Clothe the good in vile colors — make 

miscreants live 
Still in honor, — new dressed in the garb 

of the law, 
By great counsel, — whose forte lies in 

finding a flaw; 
And men say "how clever his legal 

conception, 



28 Nothing to You. 

How astutely he covers his wily decep- 
tion !" 

I might take you through churches and 
senates and halls, 

Where " wise men " congregate ; — we 
might drop into balls 

In their season where thousands as- 
semble, 

Or Theatres, whose business it is to dis- 
semble ; 

Or a hundred such places of general 
resort. 

And in all, you'll observe, that the one 
common forte 

Of success, is the clothing of thoughts 
or of persons. 



Nothing to You. 29 

4 

In style, taste, and richness, all free from 

perversions 
Of fashion — be that what it may — and 

then dash on. 
In all ages the same, if we go back in 

history 
To those ancient times when all men 

bowed to mystery. 
Was it not clothed in most intricate 

dresses ; 
The Priests and the Priestesses vieing 

in tresses ? 
The masters of men wore long flowing 

garments. 
And governed the world by external 

adornments I 



30 Nothing to You. 

The wise and the great were richly 

attired ; 
The fools and the worshippers bowed and 

admired I 
While we talk of the past in disparaging 

terms, 
It is right we should question our 

superiority ; 
And if candidly done, we shall gather 

those germs 
Of true wisdom, not known to the 

vulgar majority. 
We shall learn that men in all ages and 

climates, 
Untaught in true science, undeveloped 

in mind, 




* * * shfi filled all her cages 

With Rarer Aven of whom IF.irry was Primus 



Nothing to You. 31 

Pay homage to gewgaws — become hum- 
ble prostrates ; 
And worship fine dresses, though their 
goddess be bUnd. 
This Flora knew well by the instinct of 
genius; 
Man to her was a book with several 
pages ; 
When he talked of the "soft sex," she 
said, "he can't mean us: 
Or I'll prove by Philosophy which 
are the sages." 
And true to her word, she filled all her 

cages 
With Earce Aves, of whom Harry was 
' Primus ; 



32 Nothing to You. 

But that bird flew off, with a crow quite 

courageous, 
To return for revenge with a branch 

of the HJiamnus 
(The which, let me say, is a pretty 

white bramble, 
Much used in devotions to lacerate 

sins ; 
Thought by Pliny to answer for those 

who are humble. 
Quite as well as a torture of needles 

or pins). 
But it was not sufficient to lay it 

severely 
Over Flora's white bosom, neck, arms, 

and sweet face. 



Nothing to You. 33 

He attacks her rich dresses she pur- 
chased so dearly, 
And demohshes all, with her diamonds 

and lace. 
Leaving poor Miss McFlimsey in dread- 
ful disgrace ; 

Her prospects quite blasted — as every 
one fears — 

And she, beautiful girl, fairly drowning in 
tears. 



Now all this was bad enough 
Surely and sad enough — 
To appease Harry's wrath for the loss 
of the things: 



34 Nothing to You. 

But we know there's no stopping 
The chrysalis popping 

Himself on the world, when you give 
him his wings. 

So Harry commences 
To count the expenses 
Of having the comfort of woman on 
earth I 

And with lighted cigar. 
Thinking himself the Czar, 
He concludes that the article would not 
be worth 

Half the requisite money! 
Thinks it deuce dly funny 
That He should be forced to curtail in 
the least ; 




We ktiow there's no stopping 

The Chrysalis pojtpins 

Himself on the world when you give liiin his wings. 



Nothing to You. 35 

And decides on inquiring 
If all ladies aspiring 

To be Mrs. Harry insist on being 

drest I 

The answer to this most benevolent ques- 
tion, 
Was not satisfactory to Harry's view. 

But where, think you, he sought for the 
happy solution? 
Just imagine — he went to the Fifth 
Avenue I 

Where ladies with money, and nothing 
to do, 

Have a right to reply — "Sir, it's Nothing 



36 Nothing to You. 

But now comes the most inexcusable 

feature, 
An attack — to make which, one might 

think to find no man: 
Not confined to one well-dressed and 

beautiful creature. 
But a ruthless assault on hind nature 

ill Woman ! 
And by whom ? — and for what ? — and 

the manner '? you ask ; 
By a man ! for revenge ! — and by scan- 
dal ! The task 
Was conceived in self-love; — executed in 

vanity ; 
With a sprinkle of cant — and a streak 

of profanity. 




lint let us examine 
The iiK.nsiroiis assertion ; and afterwards lian- liini 
As well he deserves. 



Nothing to You, 37 

Kioid nature m Woman! — is there then 
one sceptic 

Who doubts it? He must be dyspeptic, 

Or non compos mentis. But let us ex- 
amine 

The monstrous assertion; — and afterwards 
hang him, 

As well he deserves. — Yet, I know, this 
hind nature 

Of Woman will plead for his life; — 
and poor Flora 

Herself try to save the doomed neck 
of the creature. 

When man in his infancy opens his 
eyes, — d 



38 Nothing to You. 

And the little brat wonders and slobbers 

and cries, 
The kind nature of woman is ever at 

hand 
To perceive every want — to supply each 

demand. 
When the youngster begins to find use 

for his legs, 
And toddles and hobbles and falls from 

his pegs, 
How quickly she runs to restore him 

again 
To his upright position; — consoling his 

pain. 
When at school with his books, or at 

home with his toys, 







Man ill his inlaiicy. 



Nothing to You. 39 

And for ever at mischief — the case with 

all boys — 
Kind sympathy still, from fond woman 

will meet him; 
And wherever he is her good blessing 

will greet him. 
When a hobble-de-hoy with no hands, 

legs, or voice, 
And the veriest gosling that offers for 

choice, 
He is none the less cared for and 

thought of and loved. 
By kind woman; — whose goodness so 

constant is proved. 
When a young man of ton with curled 

hair on his lip. 



4-0 Nothing to You. 

And cigar, cane, and hat — much admir- 
ed — though a rip. 
His little absurdities even are flattered. 
By a nature too kind; — by a heart often 

shattered. 
When he does some sad wrong as some 

gentlemen will. 
And is cut by his friends, and the 

ladies — worse still — 
However he merits this cutting disgrace, 
He holds yet in his mother's good heart 

his own place. 
When lofty, true, noble, and glorious his 

aim. 
And for goodness and greatness, the 

world sounds his fame. 



Nothing to You. 41 

Oh I when thus he is worthy — as friend, 

or as foeman, 
His name is revered by every true 

woman. 
Then where are those sisters so kind 

and good hearted, 
So ready to meet us and welcome 

us home 
From our rambles, or sports; they have 

stayed since we parted, 
In the house with their mother, — what 

we call " hum-drum." 
What thousands there are of those fair 

gentle graces, — 
The sisters of men — in all circles and 

places 



42 Nothing to You. 

You find them — good genii — sent to 

refine us, 
By a magic so gentle — that talisman — 

kindness. 
And through all the gay world wherever 

we rove, 
There is nothing so pure as a sister's 

sweet love. 
When a man's what he should be, his 

sisters adore him 
With an undying constancy; ever before 

him 
To cheer, to inspire, to encourage his 

labor. 
His study of wisdom and manners, to 

favor 



Nothing to You. 4.3 

Those weaknesses which we are bom 

to inherit ; 
And without which, to love us would 

be little merit. 
In acts of devotion and self-sacrificing, 
I have witnessed such deeds as are 
more than surprising 
To hard selfish man. 
I have seen sisters plan 
For a worthless young scamp 
Of a brother, whose stamp 
Is not rare, how to save him disgrace 
if they can. 

He was clerk in a bank. 
Every evening he drank 
Much bad liquor; then played 



44- Nothing to You. 

" Rather deeply," all said, 
Till his pockets were empty, his^salary spent, 
As had long been his large patrimonial 

descent. 
He thought he might take a few thou- 
sands or so. 
Never dreaming to steal it. Oh, God 
forbid! No I 

He would shudder to think. 
As he stood on the brink 
Of the act, that one well-born 
As he, could be so shorn * 
Of honor, and honesty. 
To commit larceny I 
But money he wanted, 
As nightly he vaunted 



Nothing to You. 45 

Himself better born than his fellows 
so gay; 

And he thought some relation 
Would die, or donation, 
Or "God-send" arrive, ere the balanc- 
ing day. 

So he took it, and spent it. 
Paid I. O. U's., and lent it: 
And the time speeded on when the 
bank he must pay, 
Or be sent to the Tombs! 
The idea now looms 
Up before him in horror, 
" If I pay not to-morrow, 
I am ruined, undone, lost for ever!" 
He thinks 



4-6 Nothing to You. 

Of each artifice ; nothing will do, and 

he drinks 
Deeper still, 'till his brain is quite 

maddened. 
He goes toward home, not much wiser, 

but saddened. 
His favorite sister observes in his face, 
A look of anxiety, terror, disgrace. 
Her heart is convulsive; she scarcely 

can ask, 
" Dear brother, do tell me what's hap- 
pened ; unmask 
"Your whole soul to your own little 

" ' Teasy.' " 
She asked it so kindly, it made him 

feel easy. 



Nothing to You. 47 

He told her it all, and his sweet 

little sister 
Never thought of applying a censorious 

blister 
To her poor brother's heart ; " but," 

says she, "for my part, 
" Dearest brother, I'll give you a 

check on the bank, 
•* For what money I've left me by 

poor dear papa." 
" 'Twould not do," he replied, " for 

there still would be blank. 
Twice the sum you possess, on my 

books." Then away 
Runs good " Teasy," and fetches her 

mother 



48 Nothing to You. 

And two other sisters together, to tell 
The sad news of the danger await- 
ing her brother ; 

They heard it in tears, — for they all 
loved him well. 
Then says one noble girl, " He may 
have all I own 

To relieve him." Another said quickly, 
" And mine too." 
While dear little " Teasy " akeady 
had shown 

Her good heart. And 'twas thus the 
three sisters combined to 
Redeem Harry's name 
From dishonor and shame. 

By a self-sacrifice which I thus give to fame. 




And 'twas thus the three sisters combined to 
Rpdeenn Harry's name 
From dishdnor and sliame. 



Nothing to You. 49 

This is not a mere fiction, 
Got up for its diction; 
But as true as the pulpit " excepting 
the name." 
It would not have been told, 
Were it not for the bold 
And unsparing attack, 
By one Harry-go-lack, 
On the feminine world; 
Whence, let him be hurled 
To his den full of smoke, and his 
" own easy chair ; " 
For a mortal who loves not 
Kind woman, and proves not 
Himself her defender, may live any- 
where 



50 Nothing to You. 



In the regions of smoke — and his own 
dismal lair. 



I might go on and cite, 
Still to show I am right, 
Our fair cousins, who love at all 
times to embellish 
What pertains to our pleasure. 
In a word, there's no measure 
To limit their sweet pretty ways; — so 
unselfish 
Their natures and playful, so free, true, 

and joyful ; 
Their smiles are like sunshine ; and with- 
out any biizz-'m. 



Nothing to You. 51 

The way it is said ; we all like our 
fair cousin. 

But though mothers are dear, and 

our sisters are kind, 
And our beautiful cousins are playful 

and true, 
There's another and dearer affection, 

entwined 
Round the heart of each man ; though 

there may be a feiv^ 

As living exceptions. 

To prove our reflections, 
Who are free from the charge of those 

loving connexions. 

Such make their flirtations, 



52 Nothing to You. 

By close calculations, 
Of " how much she will bring," what 
curtailing she'll bear, 

That lie may have money, 

For everything funny. 
While Slie, poor lady, has "Nothing 

to Wear." 

If men were but honest, with fewer 
pretensions 
To wealth which they have not — so 
often the case. 
They would find ladies' fancies adjust 
their dimensions 
To the real state of things, with an 
angelic grace. 



Nothing to You. 53 

They begin by deceiving them into 

extravagance, 
And rightly deserve the effects of their 

arrogance. 
They teach wives and daughters to Hve 

for appearances, 
Not for the comfort of home, and en- 

dearances, 
Higher than wealth ; — then assail them 

with cant about 
Fashion and poverty, vice — and still 

rant about 
Ladies and dresses and shows and pre- 
tence ; 
Yet all under man's rule, if he only 

had sense 



54 Nothing to You. 

To lead kindly and lovingly, onward 

with reason, 
The woman he loves, to all joys in 

their season ; 
Whether home, with its duties of saving 

and care, 
And its pleasures and comforts, so new, 

though not rare ; 
Or abroad, in the world of high fashion 

and art. 
In rich dresses, large diamonds, nay, — 

you need not start ! 
For these things, in themselves^ are so 

honest and true. 
That if paid for, and ivorn right, it*s 

Nothing to You. 



Nothing to You. 55 

On the moral he draws in satirical way, 
I think it but justice to all, if I say, 
'Tis a task more befitting gay Harry 

than Flora, 
To " climb rickety stairs," and see 

squalor and sin ; 
To " grope through dark dens," and 

preach morals before a 
Vile horde of poor " wretches," foul 

without and within; 
To breathe poisonous air, from the 

" dampness and dirt," 
Of " misfortune and guilt," w^ithout al- 
most a shirt ! 
But 'tis pleasanter far to eat " Flasher's " 

good dinner ; 



56 Nothing to You. 

To accompany ladies to parties at 

" Stuckups ;" 
To criticise dresses ; be " Harry the sinner" 
In slippers, cigars, easy-chair, smoke and 

wine-cups ; 
And then, by the way of a little variety — 
Just to work off a portion of recent 

satiety — 
Give a sermon in verse on the " curse 

of society — " 
A lady who thinks she has "nothing 

to wear ;" 
Yet has charit/y^ more in the tip of her 

finger. 
Than lie from his foot to his dyed 

and curled hair. 




His den lull of smoke, and his own dismal lair 



Nothing to You. 57 

Out ! Out on such teaching I 

Such one-sided preaching ! 
Such want of all candor I — such gilded 

hypocrisy I 

This is the true evil^ 

The spell of the devil; 
He prompts the worst sinner to teach 

the democracy ; 

For he knows " like a book," 

That the thinking ones look 
To the man who talks morals, for an 

illustration 

Of the way it is done, 

But convinced 'tis all fun! 

They rush downward, en masse^ to a 

worse degradation, 
3* 



58 Nothing to You. 

Thus preaching is ever the curse of a 

nation, 

Unless marked by sincerity. 

Truth and kind charity. 
There's a fine honest maxim, as good 

as it's old, 
" Let every man mind his own business." 

I'm told 
That Great Empires, huge fortunes, vast 

goodness, and luck 
In a general way, have invariably stuck 
To this saying — while friendship grows 

stronger, and friend 
After friend rises from it without any end. 
'Tis a maxim more worth than the "new 

California " 



Nothing to You. 59 

Which Harry suggests to make life's 

path less " thornier." 
It is every man's business, at once to 

defend 
The fair fame of the ladies, on whom 

we depend 
For so much of life's pleasure; 'tis ours 

to provide 
For them everything wished for, to gain 

which we ride 
On the ocean of commerce, — or railroads 

perchance, 
Dive deep in professions, — lead political 

dance. 
Or by fair honest toil win the race 

against chmwe. 



6o Nothing to You. 

It is ours to be generous, honest, and 
brave ; 

To love woman as equal, and not as 
our slave ; 

To meet the first shock of each earthly 
misfortune ; 

To be candid and true, without guile 
or distortion ; 

To be foremost in knowledge, — the vast 
power of science, 

The world and its ways, — such a mighty 
alliance 

Must raise us above every small inter- 
meddling 

With the business of others — contempt- 
ible peddling. 



Nothino; to You. 6i 

o 

In " small talk " and " chit chat " and 
" poodle dog " questions, 

So sadly in vogue among clubs, cliques, 
and sections 

Of men, who have little or nothing to 
do 

But ransack ladies' wardrobes to make 
them look "blue," 

And be told as they merit — " it's No- 
thing TO You." 



One word on these "Nothings," and I 

shall have done 
With a subject in form of impromptu 

begun. 



62 Nothing to You, 



There is " Nothing to do " very racily 
served 

As rejoinder, and all will admit well de- 
served ; 

It was writ by a lady in recrimination 

Of Harry's assault and his selfish laudation ; 

Hence it needs no apology being de- 
fensive, 

In style amazonian — cutting and pensive ; 

But though some men have "Nothing 
to do," you will find 

Our vast myriads are toiling in body 
or mind. 

Not only has Harry done wrong in par- 
ticular, 



Nothing to You. 63 

By his satire on Woman — her dresses 

and laces, 
But he gives an example how to ridicule 

her, 
In all seasons and fashions, occupations 

and places. 
For men in community think not what 

sense it is, 
But follow their leader with sheepish pro- 
pensities ; 

Leaping through hedges — 

And on to the edges 

Of quagmires and rocks — 

In great ovilline flocks. 
Hence "nothings" have grown into late 

popularity, 



64 Nothing to You. 

And the greater their scandal — the more 
jocularity; 

While to render them still more attrac- 
tive for fun, 

Some fair lady is taken — the gauntlet to run. 

Thus, one man without taste 

Or good manners, in haste 

Writes a satire on dinners. 

While yet his own " inners " 

Are warmed to their full, by the kind 
hospitality 

Which he amply abuses in rhyming vul- 
garity. 

Another more recent 

Is a Httle more decent; 

But then 'tis a fallacy simple enough; 



Nothing to You. 65 

He backs rich against poor, 
Goes on charity's tour 

To make sweeping comparisons; — now 

that's "all stuff;" 
For kind charity dwells not with cliques 

or divisions; 
Regards not the lines which we draw 

in community ; 
Claims neither the rich nor the poor for 

her missions ; 
But looks for good hearts — kind inten- 
tions and unity. 
These, these are her forces — in rags or 

in satins, 
In mansions or huts — with abundance or 

rations : 



66 Nothing to You. 

The poor man who shares with another 

his crust, 
The rich one who blesses the land with 

his " dust," 
The w^oman who runs to console her 

poor friend. 
The lady who guards lest a word should 

offend — 
These are only a few of fair charity's 

forms ; 
She is found in gay circles — in w^ork- 

houses — storms ; 
Such as foundered the homeward bound 

ill-fated steamer 
The " Central America " — while yet be- 
tween her 

L.ofC. 



Nothing to You. 67 

Wrecked hundreds and death rushed two 

mariners brave — 
Burt and Johnson — with crews Kke them- 
selves — who to save 
The dear Hves of those sinking — through 

danger still lay- 
In the trough of a terrible sea — until day 
Showed how useless 'twould be any 

longer to stay. 
I gainsay not the gifts of a Cooper or 

Astor, 
But revere the jpoor heroes of this sad 

disaster ! 
So make no comparisons — Charity never 
Speaks loud of her acts — but works 

quietly ever; 



68 Nothing to You. 

Stoops to poverty kindly — mounts to 
wealth without dizziness, 

Defends the assailed — and " Minds her 
OWN Business." 



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